The Rutles Tragical History Tour

Ow!
Goose-steppin' mama under-cover charge
Goose-step mama taken by and large
While you tinker with some tailor
someone soldier to a sailor
Goose-step mama
Oh yeah!
Goose-step mama

Goose-step mama boogie all night long
Goose-step mama you can do no wrong
You know how to reassemble
clumsy hands and knees that tremble
Goose-step mama
Oh yeah!
Goose-step mama
Wooo!

You've got something that makes you something
something tells me loud and clear
In the end it comes to nothing
You've got nothing to eins zwei drei vier

Goose-step mama with your rock 'n roll
Goose-step mama with your heart of gold
You don't like to see men suffer
Love is tough but life is tougher
Goose-step mama
Oh yeah!
Goose-step mama
Wow!

(repeat refrain and last verse)

Number One: (Nasty/McQuickly); Parlourphone single R-4949, 10/5/62; Lead Vocal: Ron Nasty

Number one, number one
You're my number one
You're my second to none
Number one, number one
Wooo!

One and one make two
and I look after you

Number one, number one
You're my number one
Wooo!

When I fell for you
I didn't need a shove
Now that we are two
It all adds up to love

Number one, number one
You're my number one
You're my second to none
Number one, number one
Wooo!

One and one make two
and I look after you

Number one, number one
You're my number one
Wooo!

A teacher couldn't teach me
I had no time for school
No one there could reach me
But baby I'm no fool, no fool

Number one, number one
You're my number one
You're my second to none
Number one, number one
Wooo!

One and one make two
and I look after you

Number one, number one
You're my number one
Wooo!

Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah
Number one!

Baby Let Me Be: (Nasty/McQuickly); from the Parlourphone EP "Twist And Rut" GEP-8882, 7/12/63; Lead Vocals: Stig O'Hara and Ron Nasty

Baby let me be
Baby set me free
I'm on my knees
I'm begging you please
Won't you set me free
If you don't want me
Baby let me be

Baby let me be
Baby set me free
You treat me so bad
You make me so sad
Won't you set me free
If you don't want me
Baby let me be
Ooo!

Say you wanna settle down
but you keep running around
What am I supposed to do?
How can I keep loving you?

(repeat first verse)
(repeat refrain)
(repeat second verse)

Hold My Hand: (Nasty/McQuickly); from the Parlourphone LP "Meet The Rutles" PCS-3045, 11/22/63; Lead Vocal: Ron Nasty

I'm not the kind of guy who likes to play big brother
But I've just seen your date outside, he's with another
I saw you both come in
Clearly you're not meant for him, so
Please, please hold my hand

Hold my hand, yeah, yeah
Hold my hand, yeah, yeah
Hold my hand and I'll see you home

I want to tell you I'm in love with you completely
I'd like to take you far away from here, discretely
Our love was meant to be
and darling, it's a certainty, oh
Please, please hold my hand

Hold my hand, yeah, yeah
Hold my hand, yeah, yeah
Hold my hand and I'll see you home
Hold my hand, yeah, yeah
Hold my hand, yeah, yeah
Hold my hand and I'll see you home

Hold my hand, yeah, yeah
Hold my hand, yeah, yeah
Hold my hand and I'll see you home
Hold my hand, yeah, yeah
Hold my hand, yeah, oooo-oooo
Hold my hand and I'll see you home

Blue Suede Schubert: (Nasty/McQuickly); from the Parlourphone LP "Meet The Rutles" PCS-3045, 11/22/63; Lead Vocal: Stig O'Hara

Well you can take it any way you want
You can shake it till it's back to front
If you rock it till it's inside out
Let me tell you what it's all about
It's a rock 'n roll symphony
and it's gonna be the death of me

They call me Blue Suede Schubert
The king of the bop
Blue Suede Schubert
I just can't stop
When I get that beat
my music is complete
Ow!

Well, it's crazy but you know it's true
You gotta do what you gotta do
And I'm gonna have to sing my song
while the back beat's going strong
Everybody rock 'n roll 'n more
even rolling all around the floor

They call me Blue Suede Schubert
The king of the bop
Blue Suede Schubert
I just can't stop
When I hear that drum
I'm gonna blow to kingdom come

They call me Blue Suede Schubert
The king of the bop
Blue Suede Schubert
I just can't stop
When I get that beat
my music is complete

Blue Suede Schubert
Blue Suede Schubert
Blue Suede Schubert
Blue Suede Schubert

Blue Suede Schubert
when I'm dead I'll drop

I Must Be In Love: (Nasty/McQuickly); Parlourphone single R-5114, 3/20/64; Lead Vocal: Ron Nasty

I feel good
I feel bad
I feel happy
I feel sad
Am I in love?
I must be in love

I feel rich
I feel poor
I'm in doubt
I feel sure
Am I in love?
I must be in love

Anytime of the day I can see
her face when I close my eyes
Wooo!

She's a dream
She is real
Can't explain
how I feel
Am I in love?
I must be in love

(repeat refrain)

Am I dead
or alive?
Can my poor heart
survive?
Am I in love?
I must be in love

(repeat first verse)

With A Girl Like You: (Nasty/McQuickly); from the Parlourphone LP "A Hard Day's Rut" PCS-3058, 7/10/64; Lead Vocal: Dirk McQuickly

Shoot me down in flames if I should tell a lie
Cross my heart I promise that it's true
I've been in love so many times before
but never with a girl like you

With a girl like you
to hold and be beside
With a girl like you
to fill my heart with pride and joy

With a girl like you
I know where I belong
With a girl like you
I know I can be strong, you know
I won't bring you any pain
I won't run around again
Ther'll be nothing to explain
with a girl like you

You know
I won't bring you any pain
I won't run around again
Ther'll be nothing to explain
with a girl like you

Between Us: (Nasty/McQuickly); from the Parlourphone LP "A Hard Day's Rut" PCS-3058, 7/10/64; Lead Vocal: Stig O'Hara

I'm looking at you
You're looking at me
Between us it's oh, so easy to see
We were made for each other, girl
We were made for each other
Between us
Love has begun between us
Two hearts are one between us
Nothing can come between us

Whatever we do
Whenever we kiss
Between you and me it's not hit and miss
We were made for each other, girl
We were made for each other
Between us
Love has begun between us
Two hearts are one between us
Nothing can come between us

Between us
Love has begun between us
Two hearts are one between us
Nothing can come between us
Between us
Nothing can come between us
Between us
Nothing can come
Nothing can come between us

Living In Hope: (Nasty/McQuickly); from the Parlourphone LP "Rutles For Sale" PCS-3062, 12/4/64; Lead Vocal: Barry Wom

I grew up in the country
beside a chicken shack
so I left for the city
and I didn't look back
Now I'm living in hope
Living in hope
Yes, I'm living in hope
Living in hope

Walkin 'round the city
feeling all alone
nobody told me
the streets are paved with stone
But I'm living in hope
Yes, I'm living in hope
I'm living in hope
I'm living in hope

Can't find my feet or a friendly face
In this god foresaken town
Nobody stops to lend a hand
unless they want to put you down

Got no woman
or a steady job
Feeling like a cowboy
and looking like a slob
But I'm living in hope
Living in hope
Yes, I'm living in hope
I'm living in hope

Nothing in my pocket
Nowhere to go
Looking for a handout
But no one wants to know
But I'm living in hope
Living in hope
Yes, I'm living in hope
Living in hope

I'm living in hope
Living in hope
Yes, I'm living in hope
Living in hope

Ouch!: (Nasty/McQuickly); Parlourphone single R-5305, 7/23/65; Lead Vocal: Ron Nasty

Ouch!
You're breaking my heart
Ouch!
I'm falling apart
Ouch!
Ow-ow-ouch!

When we first met
I must admit I fell for you right from the start
Now when we meet
all kinds of things it seems upset the apple cart
Ouch!
Don't desert me
Ouch!
Please don't hurt me
Ouch!
Ow-ow-ouch!

What is thing called love?
Why do they say it makes the world go 'round?
I can't explain
the way I feel for you, my feet don't touch the ground
Ouch!
Don't desert me
Ouch!
Please don't hurt me
Ouch!
Ow-ow-ouch!

(repeat first verse)
(repeat refrain twice)

It's Looking Good: (Nasty/McQuickly); from the Parlourphone LP "Rutle Soul" PCS-3075, 12/3/65; Vocals: Ron Nasty and Dirk McQuickly

There was no one in my life till I met you
You brought me love and taught me how to smile
You picked me up when I was feeling blue
From now on my future is worthwhile

It's looking good
It's looking good
It's looking good
It's looking good
It's looking good

Now that you have given me reason to live
I will stay forever by your side
And give you all the loving I can give
Just say the word and be my bride

It's looking good
It's looking good
It's looking good
It's looking good
It's looking good

I'm not throwing caution to the winds, oh, no
Love is not an easy game to play
Though I may not be a man of words, yeah, yeah
There is one thing I feel obliged to say

It's looking good
It's looking good
It's looking good
It's looking good
It's looking good

It's looking good
It's looking good
It's looking good
It's looking good

Doubleback Alley: (Nasty/McQuickly); Parlourphone single R-5570, 2/17/67; Lead Vocal: Dirk McQuickly

People were proud in Doubleback Alley
Neighbors were loud, but ever so pally
People would shout
Joking about
The smoke and the soot
Mother would put
the milk bottles out

We had a good time in Doubleback Alley
With fences to climb and Father O'Malley
to clip your ear
and steer you clear
of the funny man
on the ice cream van
that talked so queer

Doubleback Alley takes me back and in my mind I see
happy smiling faces if I flog my memory

Plenty to do in Doubleback Alley
Play peek-a-boo with Saccharine Sally
Bouncing a ball
against the wall
showing her drawers
you come indoors
her dad would call

Doubleback Alley takes me back and in my mind I see
happy smiling faces if I flog my memory

Stinking of gin in Doubleback Alley
Grinning a grin in Doubleback Alley
Kick a dustbin
Bingo to win
Windows to break
mother would take
the milk bottles in

Doubleback Alley takes me back and in my mind I see
happy smiling faces if I flog my memory

Doubleback Alley

Good Times Roll: (Nasty/McQuickly); from the Parlourphone LP "Sgt. Rutter's Only Darts Club Band" PCS-7027, 6/1/67; Lead Vocal: Ron Nasty

Hour after hour in an ivory tower
A thousand and nothings to do
Spending the day in a colourful way
Blue upon blue upon blue
Psychadelicatessen
Fricasse chorus girls thigh
Toffee and mackeral gateau
Pineapple pie in the sky

See how the good times roll
See how the good times roll
See how the good times roll away
See how the good times roll
See how the good times roll
See how the good times roll away

Like ice in a drink
invisible ink
or dreams in the cold light of day
The children of rock 'n roll
never grow old
They just fade away
Drifting along on a cotton wool cloud
dreaming of drum majorettes
Swastika nightingales croon tongue in cheek
an elephant never forgets

See how the good times roll
See how the good times roll
See how the good times roll away
See how the good times roll
See how the good times roll
See how the good times roll away

(fades)

Nevertheless: (O'Hara); from the Parlourphone LP "Sgt. Rutter's Only Darts Club Band" PCS-7027, 6/1/67; Lead Vocal: Stig O'Hara

In this day and age
Love is all the rage
Life goes on, it only goes to show
It's not my cup of tea
It's all the same to me
For we are here today and gone tomorrow

Nevertheless
Make the most of it
Make the most of it
Nevertheless
Nevertheless
Nevertheless
Nevertheless

Love Life: (Nasty/McQuickly); Parlourphone single R-5620, 7/7/67; Lead Vocal: Ron Nasty

Love Life
Love Life
Love Life
Love Life

Make up your mind
In your own time
To live is to live
To love is sublime
Where there's a will there's a way
Love is the meaning of life
Life is the meaning of love

(refrain)

People give thanks
People rejoice
Given a chance
Given a choice
Where there's a will there's a way
Love is the meaning of life
Life is the meaning of love

(refrain)

Where there's a will there's a way
Love is the meaning of life
Life is the meaning of love

(refrain)

Love is the meaning of life
Life is the meaning of love
(repeats, fades)

Piggy In The Middle: (Nasty/McQuickly); Parlourphone single R-5655, 11/24/67; Lead Vocal: Ron Nasty

I know you know what you know
but you should know by now that you're not me
Talk about a month of Sundays
Toffee nosed wet weekend as far as I can see

Hey diddle diddle
The cat and the fiddle
Piggy in the middle
Doo-a-poo-poo

Bible punching heavyweight
evangelistic boxing kangaroo
Orangutang and anaconda
Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse
even Pluto too

Hey diddle diddle
The cat and the fiddle
Piggy in the middle
Doo-a-poo-poo

(Stig is dead, honestly)

One man's civilization
is another man's jungle, yeah
They say revolution's in the air
I'm dancing in my underwear
'cause I don't care

Hey diddle diddle
The Cat's in the fiddle
Piggy in the middle
Doo-a-poo-poo
Doo-a-poo-poo

[The following four lines can be heard in Rutles bootlegs,
but do not appear on the released recording]

Civilizing jungle bunnies
guinea pigs including me and you
Talk about a knock-kneed frog
Second cousin to a nun living in the zoo

Walky talky man says hello, hello, hello
with his ballerina boots
you can tell he's always on his toes
Hanging on a Christmas tree
Screaming like a bogey man
getting up my nose

Hey diddle diddle
The cat and the fiddle
Piggy in the middle
Doo-a-poo-poo
a-poo-poo-poo

This little piggy went to market
This little piggy stayed home
This little piggy had roast beef
and this little piggy had none
This little piggy went
Woooo!
All the way home
(repeats, fades)

Another Day: (Nasty/McQuickly); from the Rutle LP "The Rutles" PCS-7067/8, 11/22/68; Lead Vocal: Stig O'Hara

At times like these when enemies can number more than friends
A friend indeed is what I need, not someone who pretends
I'm on my way
I cannot stay another day

You're such a pain, must I explain my every meaning to you
It's such a drag the way you nag at me and make me feel blue
I'm on my way
I cannot stay another day

You're so pusillanimous, oh yeah
Nature's calling and I must go there

A glass of wine with Gertude Stein I know I'll never share
But I don't mind, that's just the kind of cross each man must bear
I'm on my way
I cannot stay another day

You're so pusillanimous, oh yeah
Nature's calling and I must go there

Another day, I know they say that all the world's a stage
I'll play the fool, but as a rule I'd rather act my age
I'm on my way
I cannot stay another day
I'm on my way
I cannot stay another day
I'm on my way
I cannot stay another day

Cheese And Onions: (Nasty/McQuickly); from the Rutle Soundtrack LP "Yellow Submarine Sandwich" PCS-7070, 1/17/69; Lead Vocal: Ron Nasty

I have always thought
in the back of my mind
Cheese and onions
I have always thought
that the world was unkind
Cheese and onions

Do I have to spell it out?
C-H-E-E-S-E-A-N-D-O-N-I-O-N-S-oh-no

Man and machine
Keep yourself clean
or be a has-been
like a dinosaur
Got a device
For everthing nice
You better think twice
atleast once more
(repeats, fades)

Get Up And Go: with Robert Preston; (Nasty/McQuickly); Rutle single R-5777, 4/17/69; Lead Vocal: Dirk McQuckly

Working up a fever in a one-horse town
was a Jockey by the name of Joe
He didn't have a lot of you might call luck
but he had a lot of get up and go

Get up and go
Get up and go
Get up and go back home
Get up and go
Get up and go
Get up and go back home

Tall in the saddle in a one-horse town
Joey knew someday he'd hit the road
He traded with a dealer for a pick-up truck
And went looking for a medium load

Get up and go
Get up and go
Get up and go back home
Get up and go
Get up and go
Get up and go back home

Cruising down the highway doing sixty-five
in the middle of the double white line
His foot down on the gas and his head in the clouds
He didn't see the one-way sign

Get up and go
Get up and go
Get up and go back home
Get up and go
Get up and go
Get up and go back home

(repeat refrain twice)

Let's Be Natural: (Nasty/McQuickly); from the Rutle LP "Shabby Road" PCS-7088, 9/26/69; Lead Vocal: Ron Nasty

Time goes by, as we all know, naturally
People come and people go, naturally
Let's be natural
ever since the world began
let's be natural
every woman, every man
let's be natural
as follows nature's plan
let's be natural
Oh, yeah

Stars are in the sky above naturally
People rise and fall in love naturally
Let's be natural
ever since the world began
let's be natural
every woman, every man
let's be natural
as follows nature's plan
let's be natural

Everything is everything naturally
Yeah, people cry, laugh and sing naturally
Let's be natural
ever since the world began
let's be natural
every woman, every man
let's be natural
as follows nature's plan
let's be natural
Yeah

It would be so natural
(repeats, fades)

The Rutles Tragical History Tour website would like to thank Ron Nasty for his help with corrections to some of the lyrics on this page that weren't included with the original records.

This page created March 12, 1995.